33 Stupid Sex Tips From Men's Health
I've got a new piece up at Gavin McInne's latest site SBTVC. Here's a taste:
For starters, you may want to avoid referring to a woman’s elbows and knees as “hinges,” as the authors do in number 11. And while I’m on the subject, how in God’s name could anyone think number 15 is a good idea:You can check out the whole thing here. [Mildly NSFW]“Season her belly with a little salt, and then slowly lick it off.”
Salt? WTF? You had two authors and presumably and editor working on this thing. None one of you found the idea of turning your partner into a human salt lick
fucking retardedodd?And these two examples don’t even qualify as the most perplexing tips on the list. In fact, when I got to sex tip number 20, I had to double-check the address bar on my browser to make sure I wasn’t reading The Onion:
20. Blindfold Yourself
Many women who are insecure about their bodies stick to the missionary position because you can’t see their bodies that way. If you really can’t see her because your eyes are covered, she’ll do a lot more with you, to you, and for you.Um. No. Even if she isn’t insecure about her body, she’s going to be if she thinks you need a blindfold to fuck her. Why not just throw a bag over her head and tape some pornography to the spot where her face used to be? If you blindfold yourself she’s going to think you’re repulsed by the sight of her. So let me repeat: DON’T DO THIS.