My favorite GWAR moment – the Joan Rivers appearance – RIP Oderus Urungus

Well this really sucks. Having grown up in Richmond, I’ll always have a fondness in my heart for GWAR.  John Campbell of Lamb of God sums it up nicely: “a new statue on Monument Avenue is in order.”  I briefly lived above Oderus Urungus (Dave Brockie) in college and despite their reputation, he was a really sweet and (and oddly mellow) guy. RIP Oderus Urungus, Richmond — and beyond — will miss you.

From Style Weekly:

The founder and lead singer of renowned metal band Gwar, David Brockie, has died, numerous sources close to the band tell Style Weekly.

A member of the Richmond Police Department confirmed early Monday that the 50-year-old musician was found dead in his home Sunday between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. by his roommate.

“Dave was one of the funniest, smartest, most creative and energetic persons I’ve known,” former Gwar bassist Mike Bishop says. “He was brash sometimes, always crass, irreverent, he was hilarious in every way. But he was also deeply intelligent and interested in life, history, politics and art.” [Read more...]

Your Phone Is Ruining You For Us

I find it impossible to write fiction that’s set after 2002. Not because I’m a Gen-Xer waxing nostalgic about relaxing to Morcheeba on a distastefully stained sofa I found partially torn apart by a dog in an alley. (Oh, the glamour.) It’s just that it’s inconceivable to depict contemporary times authentically without including interludes where characters stare at their cell phones instead of advancing their plotlines – their lives – towards some conclusion. Which is, as a thing to read, mind-numbingly dull. Unless I write “and then his Galaxy 4’s battery died” no one can ever get lost, forget an important fact, meet a partner outside of a dating site, or do anything that doesn’t eventually have them picking up a phone. So I’m stuck writing about an era where Ethan Hawke was considered the pinnacle of manliness.

On average, people spend 119 tedious minutes staring at their cell phones each day (and that’s according to a UK phone provider). That’s 43,435 minutes annually. Thirty days a year. The month of June. Sure, a portion of those minutes is spent doing useful things. But most involve time-killing activities like playing Bubble Safari or pinning photos of cronuts to our Pinterest walls. It’s a substantial chunk of the year for our plotlines to stand still.

More at The Awl.

The Times printed a 1000 word smear piece on de Blasio accusing him of being a thoughtful leader who listens to people

Given the Times‘ disappointing endorsement of Christine “no specific plan to require the richest New Yorkers to pay more in taxes” Quinn for mayor, this odd piece on de Blasio is hardly surprising. It’s central premise suggests that the mayor of New York can only govern adequately by being a narcissistic prick, like Bloomberg or Giuliani.

The Times sums up its position at the top of the piece: “an examination of Mr. de Blasio’s management of Mrs. Clinton’s first run for office, however, reveals that his inclinations — inclusive and easygoing but frequently indecisive — could be agonizingly inefficient in a high-pressure, ever-shifting situation.”

Agonizingly inefficient? Ouch.

Then, they spend the rest of the piece admonishing him for being, brace yourself, a thoughtful team player. Here are some of the more damning and scandalous accusations from the article, “In 2000, a War Room Didn’t Fit de Blasio’s Style.”

Bill de Blasio is:

• “very friendly”

• “a good listener.” [Read more...]

Too Slack, Cynical, And Disaffected To Fight

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Gawker day editor Alex Pareene has an hilarious rebuttal to my article posted on Radar. Here’s my favorite line:

Years later, none of us are entirely sure why anyone claimed to enjoy the sounds Eddie Vedder makes. Perry Ferrell. Christ, what were drugs even made of in the 1990s?

In my defense, I always fucking hated Pearl Jam and Jane’s Addiction and I wasn’t too keen on the criminally overrated Nirvana for that matter. (If you want to embarrass us bring up Trent Reznor).
Anyway, my article’s primary intent was to frame boomers for hypocrisy and favoritism. Sure, I take lots of shots at Millennials along the way, but come on, a little friction is par for the course in an article about generational angst. Historically speaking, the boomers were criticized. Gen X was criticized. The Millennials are now getting their turn. It’s a rite of passage. Radar came up with the title “Generation Slap: A Call to Arms Against Millennials.” It was a smart move on their part since it attracted lots of attention. But if you go back and read it, you’ll see that most of my venom is reserved for boomers and with a media that credits Millennials with our achievements. And come on, who doesn’t think Of Montreal is retarded for doing this. Now get off my lawn…. I’m trying to read an antiquated little thing known as a book.